I want to stick my p in your. b.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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