so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
