some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
