Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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