does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Randomize
