remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Boobs are out for the taking
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
