why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
