i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
