im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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