Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
