i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
