his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
