When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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