Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
