Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Drake has all the answers
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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