I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
