i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
