last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
