new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Help. Why am I so naked?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
