my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
