Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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