She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
