Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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