Fuck appropriateness.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
