So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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