I am spending my child support on dildos
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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