I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The dick lei will go down in squad history
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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