I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
