ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
