u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
