you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
