You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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