how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
