Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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