I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
