We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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