I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
