yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
