I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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