I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
