I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
this will be a night to untag.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
