You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
