sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
