there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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