I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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