Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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