we're blogging at a bar
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
