i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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