we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
