The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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