I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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