As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
