Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she smelled like a LAN party
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
